Saturday, March 8, 2008

The good stuff

It's been interesting to see how my family and friends respond to the news that I'm back together with J-Dogg. Those closest to the situation (and most familiar with my romantic past) are either happy that we're back together or are just glad that I seem happy. Those who aren't as close to the situation are nervous that I'm wasting my time and/or settling for someone who isn't ready to give me the attention and affection I need and deserve. At first I was really upset that some people didn't seem to understand why I would give J-Dogg another shot - probably because I was scared that I was wasting my time or settling. But here's the thing: maybe it will work out, maybe it won't, but I've already made the decision to give it a chance. All I can do now is sit back and let J-Dogg show me that he is capable of making me happy.

Anyway, all this thinking has made me realize that sometimes women (yes, this is another one of my many generalizations) spend WAY too much time analyzing and worrying. It's exhausting and it rarely (okay, never) does any good. I've also noticed that we tend to focus on the negative parts of our romantic relationships. If a guy makes dinner we might be appreciative, but we don't always tell him how much the effort meant to us. Instead, we'll whine about why he didn't pick up the dry cleaning or remember plans we had with friends or family. There are definitely times when I do this with J-Dogg and I've noticed my friends, my mom and other women doing it as well. I'm sure some of you out there not only understand that positive reinforcement is a heck of a lot more powerful than negative reinforcement, but are actually able to put this fact into practice. I'm definitely a work in progress, but I'm hoping that this realization will help me remember to appreciate the little things. In the spirit of recognizing "the good stuff," here are some things that I appreciate about J-Dogg:

*Giving me long massages without expecting one in return
*Making me laugh (like only Jim Carey can ;-)
*Foreplay
*Always asking me what I feel like eating, watching and doing, but being able to make plans if I'm not in the mood to have an opinion
*Planning things for us to do together without any prompting from me
*Telling me about work and sharing his long-term career goals
*Buying me a pink toothbrush to keep at his apartment
*Offering to pack our campsite or take the dog out for a walk while I continue to sleep
*Surprise kisses, touches and other random acts of affection
*Missing me...and letting me know by telling me or picking me up at baggage claim instead of on the curb outside the terminal
*Silly presents like Harry Potter figurines
*Remembering a song I mentioned was one of my all-time favorites and randomly choosing it on the Jukebox when we are out with friends
*Introducing me to high school or college friends
*Pulling me close on the couch, initiating bedtime cuddling and generally making me feel like he wants to be close to me
*Commenting on my "slammin" body
*Supporting my dreams...and believing that I have what it takes to make them come true
*Trying not to check out other girls when I'm around
*Pink roses
*Foreplay
*Buying brown sugar pop tarts at the store because he knows that they are my number one favorite food
*Participating in my road-trip and shower sing along concerts
*Saying "I can do that" to my requests
*Being patient and understanding with my occasional, and often illogical, emotional outbursts
*Contacting me almost everyday just because its important to me
*Listening to - and being interested in - my stories
*Waking up in the middle of the night and walking me to the campsite bathroom in 30 degree weather because I'm scared of the mystery critter that was trying to get inside our tent all night
*Foreplay
*Making plans for the future, like planning trips and talking about when I will get to meet important people in his life
*Leaving a pumpkin with a heart carved into the front and a bouquet of flowers inside on my doorstep...just because

1 comment:

Sara said...

I think its funny that for some reason I keep voting in the minority on your quiz/questions. I'm going to say its because I'm unique right.. .