Masturbation

A girlfriend of mine recently decided to get a vibrator. Not exactly breaking news...except that she wasn't able to tell her husband about this "exciting" purchase because he would be offended. I have to admit this pushed my fem-button a little bit. Guys masturbate all the time and its almost completely accepted by society - women definitely aren't supposed to be offended by a guy's masturbation habits. BUT, if a woman talks about masturbating, she is pegged as sex-starved (read: single), unsatisfied (read: my husband/boyfriend has a shortcoming of some sort), or some sort of kinky nympho (my personal favorite). In my opinion, there are a lot of reason why a woman might masturbate or buy a vibrator...maybe she has trouble orgasming through intercourse and masturbation is just easier than the mental effort it takes to cum with a partner...or maybe her partner isn't around all the time...or maybe she is single and her "little buddy" is the only action she's getting...or maybe she just thinks a vibrator would be a fun addition to an already terrific sex life. I guess my point is that while I'm very familiar with the delicate nature of the male ego, I don't think women should be punished for having a healthy sexual appetite.

While I'm on the topic of sex, I'm constantly perplexed by the fact that - even though there are about a zillion Men's Health articles on the topic - some guys still don't understand that a woman's body responds differently than a man's. But in talking to my girlfriends, it seems that there are a lot of guys out there who have missed that memo. Here are a couple things I wish I could air-write above the Superbowl stadium next year:

• Don't look at us like we're broken when we can't cum after 30 seconds. I know the women in porn videos can do it, but here's an inside tip: they're faking...and your girlfriend probably is too if she can always cum immediately.
• We can't just look at a picture of Jessica Alba and be ready to "go," so don't skip the foreplay.
• We understand your need to be efficient (although we'd prefer this tendency was limited to yard work and weekend errands), and a quickie every now and then might be just what the doctor ordered, but don't forget that we also like things light, soft and slow.
• Masturbation has NOTHING to do with your penis size or "skills" in the sack, so hop on the masturbation and vibrator bandwagon...who knows, you might enjoy the ride.