Confessions of a kissing slut

Although I haven't had many serious relationships or sexual partners, I've spent most of the past decade kissing people.

From college and my post-college days in New York, to my late twenties in Los Angeles, I've dated boy scouts (both literally and figuratively), cops, druggies, bartenders, colleagues, a couple reality show cast-asides, stock brokers, neighbors, professional athletes, surfers, an NFL coach and a CNN reporter. And in-between these romantic escapades - whether it was a good-night kiss after a dinner date, or just a few stolen kisses in a dark corner of some bar (yes, I've been that girl) - I've kissed hundreds of others.

Instead of getting sentimental or reflective about the life-lessons I've learned from these guys, I've decided to confess that:

-I've faked orgasms throughout the course of an entire relationship
-I've stalked people via IM and through my roommate's MySpace account
-I've gone to the bathroom during dinner and never returned
-I've been dumped via Facebook (this is my new favorite)
-I've discounted someone simply because they:
*were too short
*were too good-looking (gotta watch out for the hot ones)
*wore hiking boots with tapered jeans
*wore man jewelry, had a male roommate who was a professional ballroom dancer, and used the phrase "male-bondage" to describe Friday night plans
*didn't think I was funny
*told me to dress in a specific way
*liked me too much, too soon
*didn't immediately believe that the sun shines out of my...uh, elbow
-I've accidently picked up a call from a guy I didn't want to talk to, and instead of being polite, I just repeated, "hello?" "hello?" "hello?" into the phone as if the connection went bad.
-I've literally laid on the ground of the New York City subway (in a work skirt and heels)to avoid someone I'd recently blown off
-I've spent an hour showering, picking out a cute outfit and doing my make-up, just to accidentally-on-purpose walk by some guy for two seconds
-I kept a log of everyone I've kissed until I had too many entries like: "guy from bar in East Village", "guy with lots of slobber" or "hot guy, definitely foreign, definitely didn't speak English"
-I've made a hook-up's toilet overflow and had to run around the apartment looking for towels in the middle of the night
-I've dated an unrequited love from Junior High...who ended up throwing a temper tantrum and sitting cross-legged in the middle of Houston street (VERY busy street in NYC) all because he got drunk and lost his wallet
-I've been chased down the street by a fully naked man
-I've been such a pathetic puddle of tears, that my roommate has had to sit with me for hours on the bathroom floor, stroking my hair...all for some stupid guy who wasn't worth it in the first place
-I've walked up to a cutie in a bar and blatantly said, "hi, you need my phone number so you can call me and take me out to dinner"