I hate men today

On most days of any given year, I’m very pro-testosterone. I love that guys sincerely don’t understand why I can’t leave the house – under any circumstances, short of rapidly spreading fire – in black shoes with a brown purse. I love that guys don’t over analyze things to the point of self mutilation. I love that a couple of guy friends can disagree, throw some punches and then be over it 30 minutes later. I love a good pair of shoulders. I love how guys are fascinated by sports and technology…two things I find mind numbingly dull.

But today, I hate men. I HATE Men’s Health, Playboy and all the other stupid publications that give men a skewed and slightly ridiculous idea of female body standards…not to mention the truly horrible relationship advice. I hate that even if a guy is 45, under it all, he usually has the maturity of a 12 year old. I hate the idea that guys can become bored by having sex with one woman…even if they love her (we really get the shaft on that one). I hate that guys are taught that commitment threatens their manliness and freedom. I hate that guys assume our only end goal must be to trap them and force them to get married. I hate that they blame our emotions on PMS…or being a woman in general. I hate that guys do one good thing and think they are "set" for the next year. I hate that when guys become comfortable in a relationship they become lazy. I hate that when we’re finally ready to pull ourselves together and move on, guys can smell it…like a police dog sniffing out cocaine. AND, I hate that not only do guys innately sense when a woman is ready to move on, but they know EXACTLY what to do and say to keep her around for another few months…or years…until she finally gets a clue.