Monday, June 16, 2008

BFs

I'm in Boston right now, visiting my best friend - a person who feels like home to me. There has been so much joy wrapped up in the past few days, but for some reason I've found that all my emotions are a little more intense. I've been laughing harder and crying harder. But even more than that, I've noticed an overwhelming feeling of acceptance. I don't feel like I have to be anything but exactly what I am. I know that she adores me whether I'm grumpy, silly, pensive or witty. Acceptance like that comes with incredible freedom.

Yesterday I was telling her that I'm disappointed in myself because I've been thinking a lot about J-Dogg. Today would have been our anniversary, and over the past couple of days, I've been missing him...not just a dull ache, but the feeling that someone is using my heart like one of those stress balls they give you during college finals. My best friend didn't lecture me about how important timing is or explain to me (as if I don't already know) why we had to break up and how much better off I'm going to be in the long run. She just listened. Then, all she said was, "love isn't something you can turn off - especially not you. Don't be so hard on yourself for loving someone so much."

It was so simple, but it helped me so much..and it made me wonder, what would the world be like if we could see ourselves through the eyes of our very best friend?

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